My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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