This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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