well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize