problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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