hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
