You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize