69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
