id be glad to
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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