True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
