Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
