Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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