theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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