Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
