at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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