Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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