He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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