I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
