What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
