you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
