He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
