Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
