Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
