So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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