you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
