You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
