i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
