If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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