Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
