He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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