I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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