Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
