It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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