I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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