DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
