PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
