well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
