that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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