Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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