Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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