yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize