I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
