There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
