whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dicks are not precious.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
