you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
