just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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