Do you still have your period?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
where are you?
Hypothermia
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
