i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
