Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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