if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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