Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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