It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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