I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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