Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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