Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
