I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
