Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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