She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
