Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am available for nakedness
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
