If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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