Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
