Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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