Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
