I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
