Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
