We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
