what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
