i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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